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Caleb Hanby and his wife, Bethany, share a quiet moment as he rests in his bed at Alive Hospice. The two married last Thursday at the ICU at Vanderbilt University Medical Center. Hanby was moved to Alive Hospice four days later.(Photo: Larry McCormack / The Tennessean)Buy Photo
She carried a bouquet of yellow sunflowers, white carnations and red roses. He had a single red rose.
It<span style="color: Red;">*</span>rested on top of his white hospital gown, rising and falling to the rhythm of his labored breath.
“We’re celebrating love today,” the minister began, “… a beautiful and useful thing."
“It gives hope, it gives us confidence. And<span style="color: Red;">*</span>it gives us a reason.”
Even as Caleb Hanby, 28, faced<span style="color: Red;">*</span>the final days of his life, love was all the<span style="color: Red;">*</span>reason he needed. It compelled him<span style="color: Red;">*</span>to marry<span style="color: Red;">*</span>his<span style="color: Red;">*</span>fiancee,<span style="color: Red;">*</span>Bethany, 26, in the intensive care unit at Vanderbilt<span style="color: Red;">*</span>University Medical Center<span style="color: Red;">*</span>a week ago.
Family members gathered<span style="color: Red;">*</span>around Caleb’s hospital bed, finding space between the heart monitor and IV machine in the small<span style="color: Red;">*</span>room. His nurse — acting as the flower girl<span style="color: Red;">*</span>—<span style="color: Red;">*</span>sprinkled white petals on the floor. His doctor was<span style="color: Red;">*</span>the ring bearer.
And Bethany, with her amber-colored hair<span style="color: Red;">*</span>in a braid over her shoulder, intertwined the fingers of her left hand with Caleb’s. The hand that would soon be wearing a wedding ring.
Even close to the end of life, there are moments worth living for.
Before he got sick, Caleb Hanby<span style="color: Red;">*</span>stood tall. A 6-foot-3 frame that carried a fit 220<span style="color: Red;">*</span>pounds, along with<span style="color: Red;">*</span>a<span style="color: Red;">*</span>full beard and head of short, but thick, brown hair. Rarely was he without his navy blue Detroit Tigers baseball cap, which he wore backward.
As a front desk manager at Prairie Life Fitness, Bethany noticed the good-looking personal trainer immediately that February one year ago. But strong and athletic as he was, he<span style="color: Red;">*</span>also was quiet and shy. That made him hard to get to know.
Their first meaningful interaction didn't come until months later, on a July night<span style="color: Red;">*</span>out celebrating<span style="color: Red;">*</span>her birthday. She walked into Tin Roof on Demonbreun with some co-workers<span style="color: Red;">*</span>and noticed Caleb underneath a bright light.
“We weren’t away from each other the whole night,” Bethany remembers.
Soon, that extended to whole days. They would watch Michigan football games on Saturday, and cheer on the Chiefs and Lions on Sundays. He took her to the Nashville Armory and taught her to shoot guns. They worked out together, pushing strength training sleds across the floor.
When he started spending 12-hour days at Prairie Life, hanging around even when he didn't have clients, that's when Bethany knew he cared.
“I wanted him around me all the time,” she says.
But soon, she would wonder if he would be.
Buy PhotoBethany Hanby enjoys some quiet time with her new husband, Caleb, at his bedside at Alive Hospice. Their dog, KC, lies on Caleb's feet at the end of the bed.Caleb's mother, Michelle, said he's wearing the Superman shirt "because he's our hero. He's fighting so hard."<span style="color: Red;">*</span>(Photo: Larry McCormack / The Tennessean)
The pain began in his jaw, masking<span style="color: Red;">*</span>itself like<span style="color: Red;">*</span>toothache. Caleb<span style="color: Red;">*</span>stood in the atrium at work last September, rubbing his left cheek with his finger and complaining of discomfort. Bethany persuaded him to go to the dentist.
The original diagnosis was TMJ, a painful but seemingly unalarming<span style="color: Red;">*</span>jaw<span style="color: Red;">*</span>issue. But the small mass beneath his skin was much more.
The first time Bethany met Caleb's parents, they stood together in the doctor's office where a biopsy would unveil rhabdomyosarcoma,<span style="color: Red;">*</span>a rare cancer that usually begins in the muscles or tendons.<span style="color: Red;">*</span>It<span style="color: Red;">*</span>also was<span style="color: Red;">*</span>the first day<span style="color: Red;">*</span>Caleb<span style="color: Red;">*</span>introduced Bethany to anyone<span style="color: Red;">*</span>as his girlfriend.
That was one year<span style="color: Red;">*</span>— and many rounds of<span style="color: Red;">*</span>chemotherapy and radiation therapy — ago.<span style="color: Red;">*</span>But the cancer resisted treatment. The tumor grew, breaking his jaw bone. And despite the everyday joys they pursued, including planning an October wedding, the disease progressed faster than the couple expected.
Story continues after video.
In the early morning hours last Thursday, Caleb began struggling to<span style="color: Red;">*</span>breathe, and they<span style="color: Red;">*</span>sped<span style="color: Red;">*</span>to Vanderbilt. While emergency physicians placed Caleb on oxygen, Bethany absorbed the reality that she<span style="color: Red;">*</span>could lose him before their wedding day, which was just weeks away.
Over just a few hours, they put together a ceremony with the ICU staff’s support. Mary Ann George, a medical receptionist for the unit, called the gift shop to arrange for a bouquet. She reached out to the hospital kitchen, requesting a wedding cake. She even called her mother to photograph the event.
When<span style="color: Red;">*</span>the<span style="color: Red;">*</span>wedding began, Dr. Todd Rice, the attending physician for the unit that day, walked into the room carrying two rings from the hospital gift shop. Lauren Hill, a nurse on the unit,<span style="color: Red;">*</span>came with him, showering the floor with flower petals.
Finally, Bethany, escorted by her mother, walked into the room with the lyrics of Train’s “Marry Me” playing in the background. In her pale green hooded sweatshirt, she took her place alongside Caleb’s bed. After the two exchanged rings, Bethany looked toward her husband.
“Hey, handsome," she began.<span style="color: Red;">*</span>"I can honestly say that I have waited for this day my entire life. The day I get to become your wife. ... You’ve taught me more about love in this last year than I ever thought was possible. You complete me, and you will always hold the biggest piece of my heart.
"I am honored to have you as my husband. No matter how much time we have together<span style="color: Red;">*</span>you will always be the love of my life.”
After the ceremony, they enjoyed the<span style="color: Red;">*</span>two-tiered coconut and chocolate cake, with<span style="color: Red;">*</span>white frosting and<span style="color: Red;">*</span>purple icing flowers.
The question at times has<span style="color: Red;">*</span>surfaced from others:<span style="color: Red;">*</span>“Why stay when it could all end in heartbreak?”
“Honestly,” Bethany<span style="color: Red;">*</span>says. “It was never a decision to me.
“We didn’t want to get married because we had to.<span style="color: Red;">*</span>It was because we wanted to.”
Buy PhotoCaleb Hanby accepts sherbet from his wife, Bethany, as his family watches in the background. Hanby has rhabdomyosarcoma, a rare cancer that usually begins in the muscles or tendons.<span style="color: Red;">*</span>(Photo: Larry McCormack / The Tennessean)
On Monday night,<span style="color: Red;">*</span>a<span style="color: Red;">*</span>few days after the ceremony,<span style="color: Red;">*</span>Caleb moved to Alive Hospice. On<span style="color: Red;">*</span>Tuesday, the care staff<span style="color: Red;">*</span>helped the couple secure their official marriage certificate because Caleb couldn't visit the courthouse himself.
“I think he’s been holding on,” their bridesmaid and best friend<span style="color: Red;">*</span>Brittney Woodard said. He had been waiting, she believed, until their marriage was official.
On Wednesday,<span style="color: Red;">*</span>the<span style="color: Red;">*</span>license<span style="color: Red;">*</span>sat<span style="color: Red;">*</span>on a table in his room, and Caleb could rest a little easier.<span style="color: Red;">*</span>On the foot of his bed, the couple's dog, a white<span style="color: Red;">*</span>Maltese Shih Tzu mix named<span style="color: Red;">*</span>KC snuggled near<span style="color: Red;">*</span>his feet. On the wall hung a red superhero cape. Caleb wore a superman shirt.
“It’s because he's our hero," his mom,<span style="color: Red;">*</span>Michelle Hanby, says. "He’s been fighting so hard. He’s so strong."
In all<span style="color: Red;">*</span>love, there’s also some pain. And that’s part of the beauty of it.<span style="color: Red;">*</span>Even at the end of life, there are moments worth living.
As Caleb’s breathing again became labored in the early<span style="color: Red;">*</span>hours of Wednesday afternoon, Bethany immediately went<span style="color: Red;">*</span>to<span style="color: Red;">*</span>his side<span style="color: Red;">*</span>— to the place where she had<span style="color: Red;">*</span>become most comfortable.
Reach Jessica Bliss at 615-259-8253 and on Twitter @jlbliss.
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