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The sole representative of families of passengers aboard missing Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 leaves a conference at a Beijing hotel on Friday, March 28, after other relatives left en masse to protest the Malaysian government's response to their questions. Authorities are combing thousands of square miles of the southern Indian Ocean in search of the wreckage of Flight 370, which disappeared March 8. Malaysian authorities declared that the plane had most likely been lost with all aboard in the remote sea far off Australia.
A member of the Royal Australian Air Force is silhouetted against the southern Indian Ocean during the search for the missing jet on Thursday, March 27.
Flight Lt. Jayson Nichols looks at a map aboard a Royal Australian Air Force aircraft during a search on March 27.
People in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, light candles during a ceremony held for the missing flight's passengers on March 27.
Crew members of the Chinese icebreaking ship Xuelong scan the Indian Ocean during a search for the missing jet on Wednesday, March 26.
People work at a console at the British satellite company Inmarsat on Tuesday, March 25, in London.
The mother of a passenger who was on Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 cries at her home in Medan, Indonesia, on March 25.
Australian Defense Minister David Johnston speaks to the media March 25 about the search for the missing jet.
A family member of a missing passenger reacts after hearing the latest news March 25 in Kuala Lumpur.
Angry relatives of those aboard Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 react in Beijing on Monday, March 24, after hearing that the plane went down over the southern Indian Ocean, according to analysis of satellite data.
Grieving relatives of missing passengers leave a hotel in Beijing on March 24.
Malaysian Prime Minister Najib Razak, center, delivers a statement about the flight March 24 in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Razak's announcement came after the airline sent a text message to relatives saying it "deeply regrets that we have to assume beyond any reasonable doubt that MH 370 has been lost and that none of those onboard survived."
Relatives of the missing passengers hold a candlelight vigil in Beijing on March 24.
A member of the Royal Australian Air Force looks out an aircraft during a search for the missing jet March 24.
A woman reads messages for missing passengers at a shopping mall in Kuala Lumpur on March 24.
Flight Lt. Josh Williams of the Royal Australian Air Force operates the controls of an AP-3C Orion on Sunday, March 23, after searching the southern Indian Ocean.
Ground crew members wave to a Japanese Maritime Defense Force patrol plane as it leaves the Royal Malaysian Air Force base in Subang, Malaysia, on Sunday, March 23. The plane was heading to Australia to join a search-and-rescue operation.
A passenger views a weather map in the departures terminal of Kuala Lumpur International Airport on Saturday, March 22.
A Chinese satellite captured this image, released on March 22, of a floating object in the Indian Ocean, according to China's State Administration of Science. It is a possible lead in the search for the missing plane. Surveillance planes are looking for two objects spotted by satellite imagery in remote, treacherous waters more than 1,400 miles from the west coast of Australia.
A member of the Royal Australian Air Force looks down at the Norwegian merchant ship Hoegh St. Petersburg, which took part in search operations Friday, March 21.
The Royal Australian Air Force's Neville Dawson, left, goes over the search area with Brittany Sharpe aboard an AP-3C Orion some 2,500 kilometers (about 1,500 miles) southwest of Perth, Australia, over the Indian Ocean on March 21.
" border="0" height="360" id="articleGalleryPhoto0022" width="640"/>Satellite imagery provided by the Australian Maritime Safety Authority on Thursday, March 20, shows debris in the southern Indian Ocean that could be from Flight 370. The announcement by Australian officials that they had spotted something raised hopes of a breakthrough in the frustrating search.
A closer look at the satellite shot of possible debris from Malaysia Airlines Flight 370.
Another satellite shot provided by the Australian Maritime Safety Authority shows possible debris from the flight.
A closer look at the satellite shot of possible debris.
The Australian Maritime Safety Authority's John Young speaks to the media in Canberra, Australia, on March 20 about satellite imagery.
A distraught relative of a missing passenger breaks down while talking to reporters at Kuala Lumpur International Airport on Wednesday, March 19.
A relative of missing passengers waits for a news briefing by officials in Beijing on Tuesday, March 18.
A relative of a missing passenger tells reporters in Beijing about a hunger strike to protest authorities' handling of information about the missing jet.
Sea area around the northern tip of Indonesia's Sumatra on Monday, March 17." border="0" height="360" id="articleGalleryPhoto0030" width="640"/>A member of Indonesia's National Search and Rescue Agency joins in a search for the missing plane in the Andaman Sea area around the northern tip of Indonesia's Sumatra on Monday, March 17.
Relatives of missing passengers watch a news program about the missing plane as they await information at a hotel ballroom in Beijing on March 17.
Malaysian Transportation Minister Hishamuddin Hussein, center, shows maps of the search area at a hotel next to the Kuala Lumpur International Airport on March 17.
U.S. Navy crew members assist in search-and-rescue operations Sunday, March 16, in the Indian Ocean.
Indonesian personnel watch over high seas during a search operation in the Andaman Sea on Saturday, March 15.
A foam plane, which has personalized messages for the missing flight's passengers, is seen at a viewing gallery March 15 at Kuala Lumpur International Airport.
A member of the Malaysian navy makes a call as his ship approaches a Chinese coast guard ship in the South China Sea on March 15.
A Indonesian ship heads to the Andaman Sea during a search operation near the tip of Sumatra, Indonesia, on March 15.
Elementary school students pray for the missing passengers during class in Medan, Indonesia, on March 15.
Col. Vu Duc Long of the Vietnam air force fields reporters' questions at an air base in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam, after a search operation on Friday, March 14.
Members of the Chinese navy continue search operations on Thursday, March 13. The search area for Flight 370 has grown wider. After starting in the sea between Malaysia and Vietnam, the plane's last confirmed location, efforts are expanding west into the Indian Ocean.
A Vietnamese military official looks out an aircraft window during search operations March 13.
Malaysian air force members look for debris on March 13 near Kuala Lumpur.
A relative of a missing passenger watches TV at a Beijing hotel as she waits for the latest news March 13.
A member of the Indonesian National Search and Rescue Agency scans the horizon in the Strait of Malacca on Wednesday, March 12.
Relatives of missing passengers wait for the latest news at a hotel in Beijing on March 12.
Journalists raise their hands to ask questions during a news conference in Sepang on March 12.
Indonesian air force officers in Medan, Indonesia, examine a map of the Strait of Malacca on March 12.
A member of the Vietnamese air force checks a map while searching for the missing plane on Tuesday, March 11.
Iranians Pouri Nourmohammadi, second left, and Delavar Seyed Mohammad Reza, far right, were identified by Interpol as the two men who used stolen passports to board the flight. But there's no evidence to suggest either was connected to any terrorist organizations, according to Malaysian investigators. Malaysian police believe Nourmohammadi was trying to emigrate to Germany using the stolen Austrian passport.
An Indonesian navy crew member scans an area of the South China Sea bordering Indonesia, Malaysia and Thailand on Monday, March 10.
Vietnam air force Col. Le Huu Hanh is reflected on the navigation control panel of a plane that is part of the search operation over the South China Sea on March 10.
Relatives of the missing flight's passengers wait in a Beijing hotel room on March 10.
A U.S. Navy Seahawk helicopter lands aboard the USS Pinckney to change crews before returning to search for the missing plane Sunday, March 9, in the Gulf of Thailand.
Members of the Fo Guang Shan rescue team offer a special prayer March 9 at Kuala Lumpur International Airport.
A handout picture provided by the Malaysian Maritime Enforcement Agency shows personnel checking a radar screen during search-and-rescue operations March 9.
Italian tourist Luigi Maraldi, who reported his passport stolen in August, shows his current passport during a news conference at a police station in Phuket island, Thailand, on March 9. Two passengers on the missing Malaysia Airlines flight were reportedly traveling on stolen passports belonging to Maraldi and an Austrian citizen whose papers were stolen two years ago.
Hugh Dunleavy, commercial director of Malaysia Airlines, speaks to journalists March 9 at a Beijing hotel where relatives and friends of the missing flight's passengers are staying.
Vietnamese air force crew stand in front of a plane at Tan Son Nhat airport in Ho Chi Minh City on March 9 before heading out to the area between Vietnam and Malaysia where the airliner vanished.
Buddhist monks at Kuala Lumpur International Airport offer a special prayer for the missing passengers on March 9.
The Chinese navy warship Jinggangshan prepares to leave Zhanjiang Port early on March 9 to assist in search-and-rescue operations for the missing Malaysia Airlines flight. The Jinggangshan, an amphibious landing ship, is loaded with lifesaving equipment, underwater detection devices and supplies of oil, water and food.
Members of a Chinese emergency response team board a rescue vessel at the port of Sanya in China's Hainan province on March 9. The vessel is carrying 12 divers and will rendezvous with another rescue vessel on its way to the area where contact was lost with Malaysia Airlines Flight 370.
The rescue vessel sets out from Sanya in the South China Sea.
A family member of missing passengers is mobbed by journalists at Kuala Lumpur International Airport on Saturday, March 8.
A Vietnamese air force plane found traces of oil that authorities had suspected to be from the missing Malaysia Airlines plane, the Vietnamese government online newspaper reported March 8. However, a sample from the slick showed it was bunker oil, typically used to power large cargo ships, Malaysia's state news agency, Bernama, reported on March 10.
Malaysian Prime Minister Najib Razak, center, arrives to meet family members of missing passengers at the reception center at Kuala Lumpur International Airport on March 8.
Malaysia Airlines official Joshua Law Kok Hwa, center, speaks to reporters in Beijing on March 8.
A relative of two missing passengers reacts at their home in Kuala Lumpur on March 8.
Wang Yue, director of marketing of Malaysia Airlines in China, reads a company statement during a news conference at the Metro Park Lido Hotel in Beijing on March 8.
Chinese police at the Beijing airport stand beside the arrival board showing delayed Flight 370 in red on March 8.
A woman asks a staff member at the Beijing airport for more information on the missing flight.
A Malaysian man who says he has relatives on board the missing plane talks to journalists at the Beijing airport on March 8.
Passengers walk past a Malaysia Airlines sign on March 8 at Kuala Lumpur International Airport.
Malaysia Airlines Group CEO Ahmad Juahari Yahya, front, speaks during a news conference on March 8 at a hotel in Sepang. "We deeply regret that we have lost all contacts" with the jet, he said.
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- Families of Flight 370 victims are grieving as searchers continue to look for plane
- Marilyn Tam: I know how they feel; my father died in a plane crash in 1985
- She says lack of closure is the hardest part for relatives, who may hold out hope
- Tam: All of us can grow and thrive through the trials of life with peace and happiness
Editor's note: Marilyn Tam, a speaker, consultant and former business executive, is the author of "The Happiness Choice," a book that offers life lessons on how to cope with catastrophes.
(CNN) -- The disappearance of Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 is an enormous tragedy for the families of the victims.
It is excruciating to live through the pain, helplessness, shock and anger. It is as hard to regain some degree of normalcy.
I know because I've been there. In 1985, my beloved father died on the Japan Airlines Flight 123 that crashed outside of Tokyo, killing more than 500 passengers and crew. It's one the largest plane accidents in the history of aviation.
Sitting on the tatami mat in the city hall in the small village close to the crash site, surrounded by hundreds of other people looking for their loved ones, I felt desperate, scared and suffocated. Contemplating another day of looking at pine wood boxes with inscriptions like, "part of left hand, possibly male," I thought the agony would never end.
How can I steel myself to keep on looking to try to identify some remains of what was once my dear father, hero to his family? Emotionally, physically and in every way, I felt drained of life force, like the body fragments in the boxes we were going through one by one in our search for our loved ones.
All these years later the scars still sting when scratched, as they were when Flight 370 vanished. I want to share with the grieving, scared and frustrated relatives of Flight 370 victims that while life will never be the same, it will get better. It will take time, but you will laugh again and the sun will come out once more.
The lack of closure is the hardest part. How do you know for sure that those on the plane are gone since their bodies have not been found? What if they are alive somewhere waiting for you to rescue them? How do you have a funeral when there are no remains? How can you be so sure?
MH370 families react with 'raw emotion'
Families going through swell of emotions
But the truth is that while you may hold out hope, the world is presuming they are gone forever. You have to accept it and move on.
Here are some steps that helped me recover from my loss. Perhaps it could be of help to the families of Flight 370:
1. Grieve. Allow the pain to be released. Cry, punch the pillows, share stories, do what you need to let the feelings out. Let the emotions flow.
2. Get support. From your family, friends and experts. From your spiritual source, in prayer or in nature. In time, maybe join a bereavement group.
3. Eat as healthy as you can.
4. Get rest, even if you can't sleep well, take some down time.
5. Move. Walk, exercise, play a sport, dance, do something physical so that the feelings can be dissipated.
6. Go into nature. Nature is big enough to hold you and your grief. Nature is healing.
7. Know that your loved one(s) are at peace and will be with you always.
8. Help someone who may be in a worse situation than you. In my case I saw that a couple of American families didn't make the trip to Japan. I sent them notes to let them know that I prayed for their loved ones, and that everyone was very kind and respectful in the whole search process.
9. Trust that something good will come out of this tragedy. We may not know what it is, or how, but it will happen. My father's death helped me learn how to be more present, to survive adversity, and appreciate the wonderful kindness of strangers.
From disaster I've learned to be strong and flexible, and to seek assistance when I need it. With faith and courage I can make a positive difference in other people's lives. During the course of my life, I've been fortunate to reach many of the goals I had set. I know that my dad was there, guiding, supporting and inspiring me the entire time. He smiled with pride with each new milestone that I crossed.
I believe all of us can grow and thrive through the trials of life with peace and happiness. It just takes one step at a time. The families of Flight 370 victims will come out of this tragedy different -- but they will endure and honor the memories of their loved ones.
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The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Marilyn Tam.
