Luke Skywalker
Super Moderator
{vb:raw ozzmodz_postquote}:
In his opening monologue as the much-anticipated host of Saturday Night Live,<span style="color: Red;">*</span>businessman and presidential contender Donald Trump answered the question everyone was asking: Why host SNL?
“A lot of people are saying Donald, you’re the most amazing guy. You’re brilliant, you’re handsome, you’re rich, you have everything going. The world is waiting for you to be president. So why are you hosting Saturday Night Live?” he said. “And the answer is, I have really nothing better to do.”
“Part of the reason I’m here is that I know how to take a joke,” Trump added, before he was joined on stage by<span style="color: Red;">*</span>two Trump impersonators.
Bringing more self-awareness to the introduction, the opener acknowledged the protests this week calling for SNL to #DumpTrump.
Larry David, who played Bernie Sanders in the show’s cold open, called attention to the potential heckling that some expected<span style="color: Red;">*</span>from<span style="color: Red;">*</span>spectators.
“You’re a racist!” David yelled out.
“I knew this was going to happen. Who is that?” Trump called back.
After calling Trump a racist again, David said, “I heard if I yelled that, they’d give me $5,000.”
Billionaire Trump said he understood.
“As a businessman, I can fully respect that,” he said.
[h=3]Trump mean-tweets the<span style="color: Red;">*</span>cast[/h] Trump sat out the second skit, though he opted to “live-tweet” it instead. Fake tweets from Trump about the SNL cast members popped up on the screen throughout the<span style="color: Red;">*</span>sketch.
“An extremely credible source just told me that Kenan Thompson’s birth certificate is a fraud,” one tweet read.
“I have tremendous respect for Leslie Jones. She’s a winner,” read another.
In a missed opportunity, Trump’s account didn’t actually live-tweet the segment.
[h=3]A glimpse of Trump in the Oval Office[/h] A sketch revealing two years into a Trump administration had Ivanka Trump (played by Ivanka herself) as Secretary of the Interior and The Apprentice‘s Omarosa Manigault as Secretary of State. Cast member Cecily Strong played Trump’s wife, Melania.
ISIS has been eliminated and the economy is “huge.” Trump’s staff reported that China is now borrowing money from the United States.
Secretary Omarosa reported that Trump called Putin “a loser” and made him cry. And the president of Mexico brought Trump a check for the wall.
“As history shows us, nothing brings two countries together like a wall,” the president of Mexico said.
[h=3]Hotline Trump[/h] In probably the only gif-worthy moment of the night, Trump showed off some moves in the middle of a two-week-old meme of Drake’s Hotline Bling.
Mr. Trump promised that tonight would be special. #SNL pic.twitter.com/ol6hPwXKRv
— Saturday Night Live (@nbcsnl) November 8, 2015
[h=3]‘It’s Trump time, baby!’: Trump secures Drunk Uncle’s vote[/h] During Weekend Update, Drunk<span style="color: Red;">*</span>Uncle claimed to be Trump’s number one fan.
“It’s like I’m running for president,” said Bobby Moynihan as Drunk Uncle. “It’s like we have a million things in<span style="color: Red;">*</span>common. We both love White Russians… His wife’s name is Melania, and my doctor said that’s what this mole is.” [Cue the Obamacare joke here]
And<span style="color: Red;">*</span>because nothing is complete without a nod to millennial hate, Drunk Uncle complained about the lack of the youth vote.
“These kids today, they don’t even vote anymore…<span style="color: Red;">*</span>All they care about is, ‘Can I eat my flaxseeds on my hoverboard?’ ‘Is this Apple Watch gender neutral?'”
In his ode to The Donald, Drunk Uncle also slurred the host’s campaign slogan.
“He’s gonna make America grapes again!”
Donald Trump gives a thumbs-up as he leaves for lunch after being summoned for jury duty in New York, Monday, Aug. 17, 2015.
<span style="color: Red;">*</span>
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